Being a Christian Woman |
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Adapted from a talk delivered by my wife, Marhee Clifton, to the Kitchener YSA Branch of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on October 18, 2015, in conjunction with my talk, "Woman and the Priesthood".
As Michael already mentioned, I am talking today about Being a Christian woman.
Essentially, a Christian woman is no different than a Christian man. She is a follower of Christ. She follows the counsel and pattern set down by the prophet Nephi, in Second Nephi chapter 25:
we talk of Christ;
we rejoice in Christ;
we preach of Christ;
and we prophesy of Christ.
We follow our Saviour’s teachings.
When I think of Christian women, I realize we have wonderful exemplars in the scriptures and in life. I especially think of Mary and Martha, and Mary, the mother Jesus. They were faithful women who loved God and literally followed the Saviour. They talked with Him, learned from Him, served Him and were served by Him. The resurrected Saviour first appeared to a woman – to Mary – even before any of the Apostles; even before, as He said, He had ascended to His Father God.
It is evident throughout the Lord’s ministry, as taught in the New Testament, that He loved and respected the women significantly.
Women are, by nature, called to experience aspects of life that can draw us closer to God, helping us to comprehend His love and teachings more perfectly. When I say, “by nature,” I am referring especially to the unique gift that women have to be the bearers of life. Practically speaking, without us the human race would come to a complete halt, no matter how much technology advances.
In her book called “Man, Woman, and Deity,” Sister Sherrie Johnson writes:
Essentially, a Christian woman is no different than a Christian man. She is a follower of Christ. She follows the counsel and pattern set down by the prophet Nephi, in Second Nephi chapter 25:
we talk of Christ;
we rejoice in Christ;
we preach of Christ;
and we prophesy of Christ.
We follow our Saviour’s teachings.
When I think of Christian women, I realize we have wonderful exemplars in the scriptures and in life. I especially think of Mary and Martha, and Mary, the mother Jesus. They were faithful women who loved God and literally followed the Saviour. They talked with Him, learned from Him, served Him and were served by Him. The resurrected Saviour first appeared to a woman – to Mary – even before any of the Apostles; even before, as He said, He had ascended to His Father God.
It is evident throughout the Lord’s ministry, as taught in the New Testament, that He loved and respected the women significantly.
Women are, by nature, called to experience aspects of life that can draw us closer to God, helping us to comprehend His love and teachings more perfectly. When I say, “by nature,” I am referring especially to the unique gift that women have to be the bearers of life. Practically speaking, without us the human race would come to a complete halt, no matter how much technology advances.
In her book called “Man, Woman, and Deity,” Sister Sherrie Johnson writes:
The world is trying very hard to make women lose sight of the glorious stewardship which is theirs. To nurture within the flesh of one’s own being a spirit child of God is the closest any person comes to godhood while on this earth. To feed life moving within the confines of one’s own bones is one of the greatest of all earthly joys. To suffer pain and shed blood to give another life is the most noble of all sacrifices. To give a body, the most precious of all gifts, to a spirit child of God, allowing it to become a soul, is godlike and holy. To teach, train, love, nurture, and protect another soul is the godliest profession on earth. We should never lose sight of the fact that godhood is parenthood perfected. Therefore motherhood is for women the best possible preparation for godhood. Sister Johnston bore 9 children. I think she knew a lot about the experiences she was describing; and what a wonderful understanding she shares about the gifts of child bearing and child rearing.
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Sister Julie Beck, when she was general president of the Relief Society back in 2007, also noted in a General Conference address that “faithful daughters of God desire children” they want to be mothers, and she adds that if they “know who they are [as daughters of God] and who God is and have made [and keep their] covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good.”
Of course, not every woman will bear children in this life. Not every woman will have the opportunity, or the physical ability. But that does not change the fact that our natures are adapted to that experience, and that the Lord, through nature, has placed in us the sensitivities, the empathies and the understanding that make us mothers by nature, capable of nurturing others, which we will do most purely and perfectly when live by faith in Jesus Christ under the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
Sister Beck also noted that it is not just in physically being a mother that a woman can fulfill this aspect of her life on earth. She said,
Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but…the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection. Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality.
What her comments help us to recognize is that despite its obvious importance, both here and in eternity, motherhood is just one aspect of womanhood, and we are capable of, and ought to be, great Christian women before, after and whether-or-not we become mothers.
In fact, there are great promises made to women who strive firstly and most importantly to be great Christians. In 1979, President Spencer W. Kimball made this prophetic statement regarding the women of the Church in the last days:
Of course, not every woman will bear children in this life. Not every woman will have the opportunity, or the physical ability. But that does not change the fact that our natures are adapted to that experience, and that the Lord, through nature, has placed in us the sensitivities, the empathies and the understanding that make us mothers by nature, capable of nurturing others, which we will do most purely and perfectly when live by faith in Jesus Christ under the guidance of the Holy Ghost.
Sister Beck also noted that it is not just in physically being a mother that a woman can fulfill this aspect of her life on earth. She said,
Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but…the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection. Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality.
What her comments help us to recognize is that despite its obvious importance, both here and in eternity, motherhood is just one aspect of womanhood, and we are capable of, and ought to be, great Christian women before, after and whether-or-not we become mothers.
In fact, there are great promises made to women who strive firstly and most importantly to be great Christians. In 1979, President Spencer W. Kimball made this prophetic statement regarding the women of the Church in the last days:
Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different – in happy ways – from the women of the world… Thus it will be that female exemplars of the Church will be a significant force in both the numerical and the spiritual growth of the Church in the last days. |
"The Role of Righteous Women," October 1979
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Of the need for such women in the Church, President Boyd K. Packer also said,
We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out… |
And, just two weeks ago in our latest General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson added,
…we need women who know how to make important things happen by their faith and who are courageous defenders of morality and families in a sin-sick world. We need women who are devoted to shepherding God’s children along the covenant path toward exaltation; women who know how to receive personal revelation, who understand the power and peace of the temple endowment; women who know how to call upon the powers of heaven to protect and strengthen children and families; women who teach fearlessly. |
"A Plea to My Sisters,"
October 2015 |
Listening to these statements, and comparing them with the Apostle Paul’s suggestion that women should remain silent in the Church, it seems to me that our roles have evolved significantly over the years and particularly in this generation, even more than men’s. This has happened both in and outside of the Church.
I was raised in a home with 4 sisters and 1 brother. My parents wanted a boy so badly that they were willing to have 5 girls before they had my brother. I am the fourth girl in my family. My parents had given up on the idea that they’d ever have a boy when I was born so they named me “Marhee,” meaning the last joy. Well, all great plans can fail, and they then had yet another girl before finally giving birth to a boy.
Needless to say, I grew up with lots of sisters. It was a very female dominant household within the very male-dominant society of South Korea. So, even though my father was regarded as the head of the family and we feared his wrath and never dared to do anything wrong, it was actually my mother who was the real strength of the family and an example of womanhood for all of us.
For whatever the reason, throughout their marriage, my dad failed at whatever he ventured to do in business, and so my mom became the main bread-winner for the family. She operated a restaurant while my dad stood behind to support her all the way. In fact, he built the restaurant, but it was she who ran it.
The restaurant was called “Woori Shikdang,” meaning “Our Restaurant,” and people came from all over the city to taste my mom’s cooking. It had become a very successful business by the time we immigrated to Canada. So, despite what should have been the conditioning of my culture, I grew up knowing that, just like my mom, I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.
As in physical things, so it was spiritually. Although my mother has never joined this Church, and was not the first in our family to find faith in Jesus Christ, it was she who led my father in spiritual things. My parents had traditional Korean beliefs, that included Buddhist and Confucian ideas. After our immigration to Canada, my mother encountered and became a devout member of the Catholic Church, and was continually engaged in prayer, worship and service. My father resisted her influence for as long as he could, but eventually her example helped his heart to also turn to God and he became a faithful believer in Jesus Christ for many years before his death.
For me, I was 14 when I was introduced to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by one of my sisters and was baptized. Because of my mother’s example, I knew that I had the right and ability to make my own choices in life. The Church’s teachings hit a familiar chord in me, which I embraced and which has grown into a firm and fulfilling testimony of Jesus Christ and the restored gospel. Even though I am of Korean descent, I identify myself as a Mormon. This gospel is what makes who I am. I have been privileged to learn and live it; and no matter how much I fail to be perfect in my daily practice of Christian living, I am grateful for all that the knowledge of the Lord and His teachings have contributed to my life.
Now, I started out that story about my mother to demonstrate some of the ways women’s roles and attitudes have changed, even within very traditional cultures like Korea’s. Some people mistakenly think that in the Church, women are also meant to persist in only those most traditional roles of mother and housewife – or, essentially, “nursemaid” and “housekeeper”. But this is, in fact, not the teaching of the Church or the purposes for women that God has revealed through His prophets.
According to the Journal of Discourses, on July 18, 1869, President Brigham Young taught:
I was raised in a home with 4 sisters and 1 brother. My parents wanted a boy so badly that they were willing to have 5 girls before they had my brother. I am the fourth girl in my family. My parents had given up on the idea that they’d ever have a boy when I was born so they named me “Marhee,” meaning the last joy. Well, all great plans can fail, and they then had yet another girl before finally giving birth to a boy.
Needless to say, I grew up with lots of sisters. It was a very female dominant household within the very male-dominant society of South Korea. So, even though my father was regarded as the head of the family and we feared his wrath and never dared to do anything wrong, it was actually my mother who was the real strength of the family and an example of womanhood for all of us.
For whatever the reason, throughout their marriage, my dad failed at whatever he ventured to do in business, and so my mom became the main bread-winner for the family. She operated a restaurant while my dad stood behind to support her all the way. In fact, he built the restaurant, but it was she who ran it.
The restaurant was called “Woori Shikdang,” meaning “Our Restaurant,” and people came from all over the city to taste my mom’s cooking. It had become a very successful business by the time we immigrated to Canada. So, despite what should have been the conditioning of my culture, I grew up knowing that, just like my mom, I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.
As in physical things, so it was spiritually. Although my mother has never joined this Church, and was not the first in our family to find faith in Jesus Christ, it was she who led my father in spiritual things. My parents had traditional Korean beliefs, that included Buddhist and Confucian ideas. After our immigration to Canada, my mother encountered and became a devout member of the Catholic Church, and was continually engaged in prayer, worship and service. My father resisted her influence for as long as he could, but eventually her example helped his heart to also turn to God and he became a faithful believer in Jesus Christ for many years before his death.
For me, I was 14 when I was introduced to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by one of my sisters and was baptized. Because of my mother’s example, I knew that I had the right and ability to make my own choices in life. The Church’s teachings hit a familiar chord in me, which I embraced and which has grown into a firm and fulfilling testimony of Jesus Christ and the restored gospel. Even though I am of Korean descent, I identify myself as a Mormon. This gospel is what makes who I am. I have been privileged to learn and live it; and no matter how much I fail to be perfect in my daily practice of Christian living, I am grateful for all that the knowledge of the Lord and His teachings have contributed to my life.
Now, I started out that story about my mother to demonstrate some of the ways women’s roles and attitudes have changed, even within very traditional cultures like Korea’s. Some people mistakenly think that in the Church, women are also meant to persist in only those most traditional roles of mother and housewife – or, essentially, “nursemaid” and “housekeeper”. But this is, in fact, not the teaching of the Church or the purposes for women that God has revealed through His prophets.
According to the Journal of Discourses, on July 18, 1869, President Brigham Young taught:
I have often told my sisters in the Female Relief societies, we have sisters here who, if they had the privilege of studying, would make just as good mathematicians or accountants as any man; and we think they ought to have the privilege to study these branches of knowledge that they may develop the powers with which they are endowed. We believe that women are useful, not only to sweep houses, wash dishes, and make beds, and raise babies, but that they should stand behind the counter, study law or physic, or become good bookkeepers and be able to do the business in any counting houses, and all this to enlarge their sphere of usefulness for the benefit of society at large. In following these things they but answer the design of their creation. |
In that same talk he also said,
The Gospel is for all the children of men, and it will save all who will believe and obey it. …The errand of Jesus to earth was to bring his brethren and sisters back into the presence of the Father; he has done his part of the work, and it remains for us to do ours. …Jesus paid the debt; he atoned for the original sin; he came and suffered and died on the cross. He is now King of kings and Lord of lords, and the time will come when every knee will bow and every tongue confess, to the glory of God the Father, that Jesus is the Christ. |
Taking all these statements together, it is clear that, to Brigham Young, women were able and expected to be on no different footing than men, equal with them in regard to their abilities in the world, if permitted to study and pursue them, and in respect of their obligations and opportunities under the gospel, if they are willing to obey the call and follow Jesus Christ in faith.
Just as not every woman will become a mother, not every woman will become an accountant, a businesswoman, a teacher, a politician, a baker, or any other thing in the world. Some woman are not only content, but will be happiest, to be stay-at-home mothers and housewives. In fact, despite what I have just read from Brigham Young’s public discourses, I am also aware of a private letter he sent to one of his daughters in which he told her: "Use all your gifts to build up righteousness in the earth. Never use them to acquire name or fame. Never rob your home, nor your children. If you were to become the greatest woman in this world, and your name should be known in every land and clime, and you would fail in your duty as wife and mother, you would wake up on the morning of the first resurrection and find you had failed in everything." [Quoted in S. Johnson, op.cit.]
When I first read these different passages from President Young, I thought of them as contradictory. But I recognize they are not. Did you note that when Brigham Young directs his daughter to avoid worldly successes if they will diminish her household roles, he does not say that doing the opposite would condemn her, but acknowledges that she would “wake up on the morning of the first resurrection” disappointed with the choice she had made – but the first resurrection is the time in which the faithful followers of Jesus Christ will arise, not those who have rebelled against and opposed his gospel and salvation.
What this causes me to consider is that, whether we are mothers or not, wives or not, businesswomen or not, academics or not, artists or not – whatever we do or attain in this life – what really matters is that we are and remain true to our faith in Jesus Christ and seek to know through His Spirit what it means for us to fulfill “the design of [our] creation.”
A woman’s success as a Christian is not going to be recognized by the number of her children or her success in any particular occupation. Her success as a Christian will simply be measured by the same standard against which any man’s Christianity will be measured:
The importance of meeting this standard along with our brothers, husbands and fathers, was emphasized by President Nelson at General Conference [in the talk referenced above], when he concluded his talk saying,
Just as not every woman will become a mother, not every woman will become an accountant, a businesswoman, a teacher, a politician, a baker, or any other thing in the world. Some woman are not only content, but will be happiest, to be stay-at-home mothers and housewives. In fact, despite what I have just read from Brigham Young’s public discourses, I am also aware of a private letter he sent to one of his daughters in which he told her: "Use all your gifts to build up righteousness in the earth. Never use them to acquire name or fame. Never rob your home, nor your children. If you were to become the greatest woman in this world, and your name should be known in every land and clime, and you would fail in your duty as wife and mother, you would wake up on the morning of the first resurrection and find you had failed in everything." [Quoted in S. Johnson, op.cit.]
When I first read these different passages from President Young, I thought of them as contradictory. But I recognize they are not. Did you note that when Brigham Young directs his daughter to avoid worldly successes if they will diminish her household roles, he does not say that doing the opposite would condemn her, but acknowledges that she would “wake up on the morning of the first resurrection” disappointed with the choice she had made – but the first resurrection is the time in which the faithful followers of Jesus Christ will arise, not those who have rebelled against and opposed his gospel and salvation.
What this causes me to consider is that, whether we are mothers or not, wives or not, businesswomen or not, academics or not, artists or not – whatever we do or attain in this life – what really matters is that we are and remain true to our faith in Jesus Christ and seek to know through His Spirit what it means for us to fulfill “the design of [our] creation.”
A woman’s success as a Christian is not going to be recognized by the number of her children or her success in any particular occupation. Her success as a Christian will simply be measured by the same standard against which any man’s Christianity will be measured:
- Does she believe in God and in Jesus Christ and His Atoning sacrifice?
- Does she strive to live according to the commandments, to love God and her fellow beings as herself?
- Does she make and keep sacred covenants and do her duty in the service of others?
- Does she daily rely on the grace of Jesus Christ and the guidance of the Holy Ghost to ensure her words and actions are consistent with His will?
The importance of meeting this standard along with our brothers, husbands and fathers, was emphasized by President Nelson at General Conference [in the talk referenced above], when he concluded his talk saying,
My dear sisters, nothing is more crucial to your eternal life than your own conversion. It is converted, covenant-keeping women…whose righteous lives will increasingly stand out in a deteriorating world. …I plead with my sisters in The Church…to step forward! Take your rightful and needful place in the home, in your community, and in the kingdom of God… [I\ bless you to rise to your full stature, to fulfill the measure of your creation, as we walk arm in arm in this sacred work. Together we will help prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord.
I bear my testimony that God lives and He is our loving Father in Heaven. I am grateful for a husband who loves and honours the Lord as much as I do. If we didn’t have the gospel to lead us in our 26 years of marriage, we would have probably gone our separate ways 25 years ago. I am grateful for Michael’s complete devotion and support to me in all I do. He is the father of our two beautiful children and my faithful, loving husband. I especially appreciate him for making lunch everyday accompanied with a love note. Every note is beautiful and different. He does this just because he knows that it puts a smile on my face as I read it. I know that each of us can accomplish much in this life but together, and with the Lord, we can move mountains. To this, I testify in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.