Sister Gilbert's talk also reminded me of how we need to continually examine our words, thoughts, actions, and feelings to ensure the conform to the gospel of Jesus Christ, to ensure they are worth of him who suffered and died for us.
I love the hymn, There is a Green Hill Far Away. And what an awesome fourth verse:
Oh, dearly, dearly has he loved!
And we must love him too,
And trust in his redeeming blood,
And try his works to do.
Do you trust in the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ? We all sin. We all suffer sins and temptations that, as Nephi said, do easily beset us [2 Nephi 4:18]. But we need not fear or feel weak, for Jesus is our strength and our salvation.
Let me ask you, is this mysterious to you? If it is, then I have to ask: Do you know what repentance means and what it’s for?
Just in case, let’s do a language lesson.
The reason for this is that the English we speak doesn’t always make the meanings that we need to know as obvious as they could be. “Repentance” is a word like that.
In English, the word “repentance” comes from the Latin word, paenitere, “to regret” or “be sorry”. So, in Genesis, it says “It repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth… it grieved him at his heart.”
But, in fact, sorrow is just part of the repentance picture. This is reflected by two things: First, the Greek and Latin words most often translated as “repentance” by ancient New Testament Christians; and, second, the two even more ancient Hebrew words that are commonly translated as “repentance” in the texts of the Old Testament.
First, the oldest, the Hebrew words: Nacham and Shub.
Nacham expresses regret, but specifically regret for sin. It is a deep grief over bad choices and conduct. It is the word that Job used when he said, “I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes" [Job 42:6]. It’s probably the word that Nephi had in mind when he said, “O wretched man that I am!” [2 Nephi 4:17.]
The other word, Shub, is about changing, turning your focus around, as when Joshua told his people to “incline your heart unto the Lord God of Israel” [Joshua 24:23].
It is these two concepts together that we mean by the word “repentance”: That is, not just sorrow, but also change; and not just change, but also sorrow.
So, just as there were those two Hebrew words in the Old Testament that came to be represented by the word "repentance" in English, it is interesting that early Christians used both the Latin word, paenitere, meaning regret and sorrow, and the Greek word – metanoia – that means “to change”.
Simply put, if you think that repentance is all about feeling bad, you haven’t got the full picture. And if you think that repentance is only about change, you haven't got the full picture. As with most topics that really matter, St. Paul helps to set the record straight. In his second letter to the Corinthians, he put it this way, “Godly sorrow worketh repentance that leads to salvation” [2 Corinthians 7:10].
So, here again, it’s good to look at what he really wrote, in the original language. His actual words for “godly sorrow” in Greek were, he gar kata theon lupe (I am sure my pronunciation is no good. Sorry.) He gar kata theon lupe means, the pain you feel in response to God working in or on you.
So, let’s get this concept right. Godly sorrow for our sins is not a feeling of being apart from God; it’s not the loss of connection with Him; it is His very presence, His Spirit, working in and upon our minds and our hearts to feel the weight of the sin that binds us. It is, in fact, God’s love, present in us, calling us away from our sins.
What a beautiful thing. Let me feel that sorrow every time I go the wrong way.
This is exactly what Nephi prays for: "O Lord," he says, "wilt thou redeem my soul? … Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?" [2 Nephi 4:31.] Let my conscience be so attuned that when I do wrong, I know it; not just intellectually, but intrinsically, and emotionally. Let me feel it.
This is a gift from God. It is part of His grace toward us. He has said that every person has the Light of Christ given to them [Doctrine & Covenants 84:46], a glimmer from the skyscape of eternity that points us, like a Liahona, in the direction we should go to find our way back to him. And isn’t that the next part that St. Paul puts in his sentence, when he says, “Godly sorrow worketh repentance”?
That godly sorrow is the starting point of the two-part repentance process: A sorrow for sin that works in your heart to make you want to change; a paenitere that makes you seek metanoia; a nacham that makes you want to shub.
In fact, that Greek word, metanoia, is a powerful one, because it means not just “to change” but to completely revolutionize who you are. Some scholars think a better translation for that word, rather than “repentance,” is “conversion”. That’s something for us to think about, isn’t it? That, at their core, conversion and repentance are the same thing.
And what do we know about conversion? When we are converted, we have strength that lets us strengthen others; we turn to God and He turns to us; or, as Jesus said, “If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love” [John 15:10; cf. 15:9-12, 14:15-18]. Therefore, St. Paul concludes his phrase to the Corinthians saying, “Godly sorrow worketh repentance that leads to salvation.”
This is what repentance is all about. From sorrowful beginning to saving end, it is all about feeling and following God’s love.
So, please, don’t think that when you feel sorrow for your sins, it is because God’s love is far from you. That is God’s love, not just close to you, but in you, and working in you. Feel it, embrace it, and follow it to where He wants to lead you.
We are each of us, as disciples of Jesus Christ, on the path of moving from worse to better, and from better to best, learning, as Moroni says, to love God and to deny ourselves of all ungodliness, so that we can become perfect, sanctified, and holy in and through the grace and power of Jesus Christ [Moroni 10:32].
The gospel is a beautiful plan, and you never need to beat yourself up or feel the kind of sorrow that drags you down or makes you feel like you are not worthy of God’s love or anyone else’s. Those feelings are not godly sorrow, and you can simply reject them.
God loves you so much, that in the midst of your sins, while you were yet sinning, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to save you. Not to condemn you, but to save you.
So, trust him. Trust His love. Trust the desire that He, because He loves you, has put into your heart to help you be and do better every day. His love and grace will attend you every step of the way.
You don’t know – none of us knows – how long it might take to overcome the sins that easily beset us. Like Nephi, we can almost feel despair at how easily we fall again and again, but, also like Nephi, we can learn to rejoice because we know in whom we have faith.
“I desire to rejoice,” he wrote...
[M\y heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
My God hath been my support; he hath led me
… and he hath preserved me
… He hath filled me with his love,
… he hath heard my cry
… and he hath given me knowledge
…[so\ why should … my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, …Yea, why should I give … the evil one … place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?
… Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin.
Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
…cry unto the Lord, and say:
O Lord, I will praise thee forever;
yea, my soul will rejoice in thee,
my God,
and the rock of my salvation.
[2 Nephi 4:19-30.\
Your walk on the path of repentance will reveal to you His love for you, just as He has revealed to me His love for me. Don’t think I don’t know how hard it can feel, and easily we can fall. I have fallen and needed the goodness of godly sorrow to find my way back more times than enough, more than I would ever like to admit.
I am grateful that He loves me enough not to leave me feeling comfortable in any of my sins.
And I know that at the end of that road I will finally not feel any more sorrow for sin, nor even any temptation, but eventually, ultimately, I will fully awaken to the blessed happiness that is reserved for those who have consistently put their faith in God and sought to follow His gracious and glorious Son, Jesus Christ.
While you walk the path of discipleship, you need never feel abandoned or alone, but know that His love will abide with you always. And I leave you this testimony in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.