Call it is prelude or a preface. What it is, is a poem that I wrote for you.
In this square space,
Where I have known and have been known by
My limits.
My rules have been clear and well-defined.
I have known what is within and what’s outside.
I have known who is not and who is, my kind.
I have found comfort in my box.
Yet, today, my box is suddenly too tight,
And I am feeling too confined.
I push against its walls and am surprised to find,
They comply.
Its walls, it seems, are not established stone,
Built by nature’s will or some objective and inscrutable demand,
But by my own will are designed and set up where they stand.
This box that I thought made me, was, rather, made by me,
And held me prisoner to the limits
Of my own imagination, not universal law.
So, though by them I can in comfort live,
Occasionally I touch the walls, to see whether they still give.
And if there still seems to be some room,
I push,
And, bit by bit,
My universe expands.
I hoped that it would help us to think about what boxes you spend your time in? We all do. We make boxes for ourselves, for others, even for God. (That’s idolatry, by the way.) Some are good – that’s how I feel about my boxes of husband, father, grandfather, and Latter-day Saint – and some are bad – like the boxes whose names begin with “I can’t”. Most boxes are temporary, and all of them are flexible. The most flexible is the most eternal, the box of being a child of God.
Anyway, that’s not the talk I’m delivering today. This is:
He said I should tell you that He loves you.
…
I asked if there was any more to his message than that, because, well, I have a little more time to fill.
He said, tell them again.
God loves you.
Now, that’s an easy thing to say. God’s not really giving me a challenge with that message; but I do know that sometimes it’s a challenge to hear it. Moreover, it’s a challenge to believe it.
In the movie, Jesus Christ Superstar, after Jesus is arrested, beaten and scorned, Judas, who betrayed him to the Sanhedrin, suddenly awakens to the awful reality of what he’s done. He runs, first to the Sanhedrin, then into the wilderness, and in final exhaustion exclaims,
I don’t know why he moves me
He’s a man
He’s just a man
He’s not a king
He’s just the same
as anyone I know.
He scares me so.
When he’s cold and dead
Will he let me be?
Does he love –
Does he love me too?
Does he care for me?
We all fall short. We all betray our Lord, our covenants, his trust, at times. We all fall short of our own standards and expectations, let alone his. We disappoint ourselves; we disappoint our loved ones. Like Nephi, we might sometimes want to beat our breasts and exclaim,
Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh;
my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
And when I desire to rejoice,
my heart groaneth because of my sins;
It’s also hard for us to feel the love of God when sorrow overtakes us; when a loved one dies; when a child we adore suffers pain or disappointment; when a heart full of love and expectations is broken.
It’s hard for us to feel the love of God when our dreams are unfulfilled; when opportunities we long for never reach us; when the accomplishments we think define us are not valued by those whose approval we desire; when we lose a job and can’t take sufficient care of our families; when we are overcome with illness, temporary or chronic, or injury or accident; when things happen that we don’t like and don’t feel that we deserve them, it can be hard to feel that God loves us.
But He does.
One morning on my mission, I lay in bed half sleeping, half awake, and with my mind’s eye, I saw a scene the looked like some classic Christmas card image of Bethlehem, and over the small town where a single brilliant star shone, I saw the words written,
For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whoever believeth in him
should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
And then, right after them, the words: “I sent Him for you.”
What a lovely gift was that early morning testimony; a suggestion that if only I had ever existed, Christ would still have come to save me. The same is true for each of you.
And God not only loves us each enough that He would have sent His Son to save us, individually, but He loves us each enough to suffer with us, individually, for each of our sorrows, and to rejoice with us, individually, in each of our strengths and victories.
He loves us enough that He made a way for us – for each of us – to overcome the disappointments and suffering of this life. Not that we will necessarily be free of the circumstances that cause them, but He gives us a way to receive and develop compensating gifts, compensating grace, so that we are able to stand in the face of difficulty and depression, being redeemed and renewed, strengthened and sanctified; a way that serves to amplify and magnify His love in our lives till there won’t be space enough in your heart to bear it, and, like Enoch, your heart will have to swell wide as eternity and cause the foundations of the earth to shake. We call that way, “the covenant path”.
At our recent General Conference, Sister Emily Belle Freeman said that path begins “with the covenant of baptism and leads to deeper covenants we make in the temple.”
Then, she added:
I loved even better Elder Daines’ more beautiful remark, also from this past General Conference, that “Covenants are the shape of God’s embrace.”
I am always disappointed when I hear our gospel covenants being compared to contracts. Of course, the words have a connection. Of course, there is a contract-like aspect to any covenant relationship – but the meaning of our covenants with our Heavenly Father and our Saviour Jesus Christ are so much more than that.
As Elder Daines also said, they are not “rules to earn His love.” Echoing the Apostle John’s statement that we love God because He first loved us, he added, “He already loves you perfectly. Our challenge is to understand and shape our life to that love.”
Shaping our lives to match the love that God has for us is what the covenant path is all about.
Now I don’t want to belabour that point or become technical. I don’t want to offer explanations or interpretations for each of the ordinances and their associated covenants to try to illustrate God’s embrace in each of them. You can do that. We can each do that. I suspect, in fact, that that’s what’s intended – that God wants each of us to experience our own feelings and gain our own understanding as we enjoy His personal embrace of us through the covenants that we personally make with Him. But I will add one thought in closing.
President Nelson used the word “fabulous” to describe God’s plan for us. It is fabulous. And it is fabulous that as a part of that plan we are privileged to continue to make covenants with God almost every week as we partake of the ordinance of the Sacrament.
How much more easily might we recognize and remember the love of God in our lives, if we viewed the Sacrament as a weekly embrace – a weekly hug – from our Heavenly Father? If we saw it as an opportunity not just to repent but to reconnect with God and in a more sacred and serious way re-commence our journey with Him for the days that follow.
Brothers and Sisters, I testify that God loves us – that God loves you – and that His love is enduring, abiding, eternal, universal, and unconditional. I testify that by faithfully following the covenant path we will increase in our awareness of and appreciation for His love, and that as we faithfully keep our covenants, seeking to speak and act and live in manners that are consistent with them, our lives will begin to take the shape of God’s love; and then what beautiful changes we will find in ourselves, and what beautiful impact we may have the people – our family, friends, and communities – around us.
And I leave this testimony with you in the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Amen.