Of course, this is a gospel of hope, and our God is “the God of All Comfort.” It’s natural to want to help each of us to feel positive about the challenges we face in life, to know that we have access to power that may help us overcome them, and the promise that ultimately, “God shall wipe away all tears from [our] eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things [shall be] passed away.”
But it is easy to forget that, in the meantime, life can be very, very hard; and I want to ensure that you know that it’s okay that we feel that way. It’s okay to acknowledge our present pain, and to be tearful and sorrowful now. It’s not the only thing we should feel about our adverse or difficult circumstances, but it is okay to feel it.
We might try to avoid that message because it feels so hard. How much easier and more uplifting it is to share the pleasant platitudes reflected in Bob Marley’s charming song that says, “Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be all right. …oh! Every little thing gonna be all right.”
Well, I don’t want to share any platitudes. Life is hard. You know it, and I know it. And for some it’s harder than it is for others, which seems entirely unfair. Sometimes we can see why some problems come to some people, but other times the agonized cry of “why me?” has no immediate or satisfying answer. While I can admit that I have, so far, never had a problem in my adult life that I could not attribute to my own choices and actions, sometimes our reasons for pain, sickness, sorrow, loneliness, fear, broken-heartedness, disappointment, and uncertainty, come at us without any obvious causes that might have been within our own control.
So, again, it’s okay to cry.
In fact, the Lord cries with us, and He calls us to cry together.
So, the first part of my message about adversity today is just that, that it’s okay if you feel it. It’s okay if life or some of its circumstances seem hard. It is okay not to be ashamed of your tears, your fears, your pains, your sorrows, and your broken heart.
And the second part is this: Please share those feelings, especially with us, your brothers and sisters. If you are afraid, let us know it. If you are alone, take our hands. If you are ill, call on us for comfort and help. If you are hurting, let us try to console you.
That’s not just a matter of each of us being nice to one another, and you wouldn’t be imposing unfairly on anyone to seek that kind of support. It is, in fact, what we, as Latter-day Saints and followers of Jesus Christ, have covenanted to do.
We learn about the importance of these covenants from the Lord’s words when he called Frederick Williams to be a counsellor to Joseph Smith in the First Presidency. He told him this:
...be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down,
and strengthen the feeble knees. And if thou art faithful unto the end thou shalt have a crown of immortality, and eternal life in the mansions which I have prepared in the house of my Father. Behold, and lo, these are the words of Alpha and Omega, even Jesus Christ. Amen.
I believe that this is largely what our baptismal covenant means when it says that we are “to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in”: That this is not primarily a covenant of missionary work, but is mostly a covenant of ministry, of witnessing, by demonstrating through our good will and personal service,
God’s hands of comfort and strength,
His gentle voice of understanding and care, and
His loving arms of safety and support.
But it seems unfair, doesn’t it? First, I explained that life is hard for all of us, then I explained that for all of us our responsibility is to care for others, to which I will add the corollary: and not so much for ourselves.
Self-care is important, of course; but I note the content of God’s two great commandments are to love Him and to love others. Loving ourselves is taken for granted and is not the substance of the commandment. Concern for ourselves is natural, but it is not what our covenants with God or one another are all about.
It’s a lovely thing to receive compassionate care and service from others; but if we go throughout our lives receiving nothing from anyone, but giving of ourselves continually, we will have fallen short of nothing. We will still have obeyed the commandments and fulfilled our covenants.
So, what makes that okay; what makes that not unfair? For that answer, we have to turn to our theology.
I mentioned earlier Melissa Inouye’s book, Sacred Struggle. Sister Inouye is a young victim of terminal cancer. Though currently surviving and, it seems, thriving, as much as that challenge will allow her to do, she lives with a significant burden. She is an accomplished professor, and a young mother and wife who writes with deep love and affection about her family. She knows both joy and adversity.
Reflecting on a world that reels continually under environmental, ethical, and existential threats, Sister Inouye asks,
What are we to do? When will the earth rest? When will the wicked fail [and] the righteous prevail?
To answer her own questions, she reminds us of who and why we are:
Mortal life is the opening segment of a divine learning curve that stretches toward infinity. … [It\ is the path we must follow in order to one day become like our Mother and Father in Heaven. Of course, we shouldn’t go out looking for trouble… But to the extent that it catalyzes learning and development that nudge us closer to the character of our heavenly parents, all experience, including mistakes, wrong turns, and struggles, is sacred. [T\he purpose of life is to explore opposition and contrasts, and to struggle to love without pride or selfishness[. C\hallenging and even devastating incidents are not a waste of time or effort because they stretch our experience to fit the reality of the cosmos as it really is. To be sure, we almost always wish that these things had not happened to us. Catastrophes still feel catastrophic. |
Who would choose to live in a world
where many do evil with impunity
and so many innocents suffer?
Her answer?
...we did.
She writes:
… Struggle is the worst, and I don’t want any more of it, in my life or in the world. Also, struggle is sacred, and without it, I cannot become who I want to be. … [A\s a catalyst for longing to know and feel the presence of the divine, struggle is an essential, elemental fact. |
Do we, in fact, suffer adversity? Or do we merely suffer?
It seems to me that one of the keys for overcoming adversity, is to stop thinking of every difficulty, challenge, trial, or tragedy we face, as adversity, as the work of an enemy that intends to do us harm, as an incident that opposes and is inconsistent with God’s plan. Instead, as Sister Inouye suggests, there is sacred purpose in our struggles. How might it impact your life, if you could see each incident of suffering as an invitation to sanctification, as something that ultimately works for your own eternal good?
How, too, might it impact your life not merely to see your struggles through this alternate lens, but to stop looking at them at all?
I don’t mean to suggest we should practice blissful ignorance, but I do recall the Lord’s admonition to keep an eye single to His glory; and if one eye is trained on Him, where should the other be? Remembering, again, the two great commandments, I believe that while one eye is devoted to remembrance, appreciation, and praise for our loving God, the other – the rest of our attentiveness, activity, and concern – should be focused on loving others.
If half our attention is given to loving God - reaching upward to Him - and the other half to loving and serving - reaching outward toward - others, what room is then left for self-absorbed worries or self-pity over our struggles in life? Like the attitude of gratitude, that President Nelson encouraged us to adopt for its healing qualities, saying that “counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems,” I believe that discounting our trials and tribulations as meaning less to us than helping to bring hope and healing to others is one of the ways that we will find the strength to overcome.
“I have overcome the world,” the Lord tells us, and He promises that when we gratefully put our faith in Him and willingly take His yoke upon us – which includes being yoked to Him in the service of others – we can do that too. We know that this promise does not mean that in this life we will live trouble-free, though we might each pray to avoid as much trouble as possible; but we also know that when walk with God, and that as we seek to fulfill our covenant responsibilities to love and serve one another, with His help we can bear every troubling circumstance that comes upon us, that our burdens will become lighter and more bearable because of His atoning, strengthening grace.
Jesus Christ is mighty to save, and, as the Apostle Paul wrote,
… neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.