Life is like that. Everything we think we know is like that; even what we think we know about ourselves.
If I hold up my hand, you see one side of it, and I see the other. The event is the same – my hand is held up; but our experiences are different; and those differences mean that each of our experiences is limited in some way.
What we then do with our limited experiences and partial knowledge, is tell a story. Ah, this is what that means; this is why that happened. Our stories are not facts. They are the collection of ideas we have about the facts, including our feelings, reactions, and projections about them. And this is as true of our personal life stories as it is about the stories we carry in our minds about anything and anyone else around us.
I had a realization a few days ago.
Well, here’s where my realization comes in. We don’t, in fact, have a lot of snacks at home most of the time. I mean, we have some; but Marhee is not a junk food addict like I am. She grew up on a healthy diet. I grew up putting seven spoonfuls of sugar in my tea and eating sugar-butties as a bed-time snack. (If you don’t know what those are, ask somebody English.) But when I am at home with Marhee, though we sometimes snack, I have learned to be more reserved. I have some self-control. But then I go to visit our daughter’s home. Our daughter always has junk food at home. Froot Loops and Lucky Charms, potato chips and popsicles, chocolate, cream soda and root beer. I go there to take care of the grandkids; I come home 10 pounds heavier.
I realized I am just like my dog. As soon as I am not being watched, I go for the treats.
“I am just like my dog,” is not a story I knew about myself until recently. It’s not a story I would have told about myself until I discovered it. Now I know it, it is not my favourite story.
Everyday, you can learn something new about yourself – about your past, your talents, your personality, things you thought you already knew about. You can also forget things. And with each new self-discovery, or each memory that goes away, your life-story will change. And that’s the key thing about stories, isn’t it? They are malleable. They can change, and they can be changed.
I’d like you to think for a moment about your personal story; at least, what you know of it right now. Think about you for a moment. Who are you? Where did you come from and how did you get here?
I’ll bet not all of you have happy personal stories. Sometimes, the stories we carry about ourselves – the ways we interpret our experiences, what we’ve done and what’s been done to us – are not good. Maybe they are stories about sorrow and struggle, fear or abuse, unkindness or failure, weakness, frailty, or sin. Most people are really good at telling a bad story about themselves.
There might be several reasons we do that. One is that wallowing in negativity about ourselves actually becomes a shield against the prospect of trying to be better. It works like this: The worse we think of ourselves, the less we expect from ourselves; the less we expect, the less we do; the less we do, the less we fail. End of story.
But, of course, that’s not really the end of the story. It’s just a version of the story that we are hung up on. In fact, we are just like those blind Indian gentlemen touching and describing the elephant. We don’t know the whole story – even our own whole story. We don’t know the whole truth about anything. And, typically, whatever we think we know, is at least several times more wrong than it is right. As the Apostle Paul said, “For now we see through a glass, darkly.”
Maybe that sounds depressing to some of you. We take some pride in thinking that we know ourselves, and that we know what’s going on. We like to be the ones who “get it”; and sometimes we like to correct others because “they don’t.” Here’s a pro-tip for you: Don’t do that.
But there is a beautiful, important, and even joyful side to this fact of how limited our understanding is.
It is this: If you don’t like the story you are living, write a new one.
Maybe in your story, you think you are a failure – but maybe the true story is that you’ve just had lots of opportunities to learn what doesn’t work, and so you are learning how to do things better. Maybe your story is that you are weak; but really it is the story of being blessed by the kindness and support of others; and by their examples you are learning how to love and help other people too. Have you been hurt, or have you been challenged to rise above self-pity and vindictive feelings, to develop strength, resilience, and self-esteem? Have you been offended, or even sinned against; or have you been given the opportunity to learn how to turn to your Saviour for healing and for hope?
The Lord told the prophet Moroni,
…if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will
I make weak things become strong unto them.
You might remember Sister Camille N. Johnson’s talk in the October 2021 General Conference, when she said,
The sublime principle of agency [allows] us to write our own stories... But Jesus Christ stands ready to use us as divine instruments, sharpened pencils in His hand, to write a masterpiece! He is mercifully willing to use me, a scrawny pencil, as an instrument in His hands, if I have the faith to let Him, if I will let Him author my story. |
As the angel told to Mary, “With God, nothing is impossible.”
So, here’s my suggestion: Whatever story you are telling yourself about yourself right now – even if it’s a good one – let Jesus write a new and better story with you.
And along with that, you can also learn from the stories that He has already told.
The gospel itself is a story; and it is not just a story about God and the characters we learn of in the scriptures. The gospel story is part of your true story, and that part of it goes something like this:
- You are a child of God. You are of eternal value. You have a divine destiny.
- God loves you. He sent you here to learn. Learning includes failure, error, and sometimes even sin (though we should avoid it when we can).
- God knew you would make mistakes, sin, and fail from time to time, so He sent you a Saviour. His Son, Jesus Christ, came into the world to set an example for you, to show and empower you to live with grace, peace, comfort, and joy, even if your circumstances are imperfect.
- Jesus then performed the ultimate sacrifice. He took upon Himself the weight of your sorrow, and the torment of your punishment, so that you would not have to suffer them yourself.
- Jesus survived that suffering. He walked through the valley of death and up to the gates of Hell, and He overcame sin, and He overcame death, and He made a way for you to follow Him to escape those terrible things too. He calls you to join Him, and He offers you His help, His Spirit to be with you always, to help ensure you can make it home.
Did you know that this is your story? Most of you do know the story, but do you really believe it is yours? I testify that it is. It is a true story for each and every one of us.
So, knowing that story, maybe we should ask ourselves, why not, then, repent right now of every sin? Why not give up all the bad habits, bad choices, and bad attitudes that hold us back from the happiness He promises? Why not decide right now to do and to be better, to live up to the glorious story of our lives that the gospel tells?
Do you believe you’re not capable? The gospel story says He will help you. He can even turn your weakness into strength.
Do you believe you’re not worthy? The gospel story says you have eternal value, and that everything He did, He did for you.
Do you believe you’ve gone too far and there’s no way back? Well, the gospel story says that Jesus’s sacrifice, His atonement, is infinite and eternal. So, there’s no distance you could possibly go to escape or avoid His love, or His help.
When we feel overpowered by sin, we can remember that Jesus Christ overcame all sin.
When we feel overburdened by the challenges of life, we can remember that Jesus Christ paved the path to exaltation and eternal joy. He makes us able to find peace and happiness and will walk beside us every step of the way through whatever we have to experience.
There is no reason to doubt His love, and no reason to continue in our bad habits, negative attitudes , sins, errors, or whatever holds us back from experiencing the blessings He offers us, other than if we are telling ourselves a less complete and less true story.
President Nelson has said:
Before the Savior submitted Himself to the agony of Gethsemane and Calvary, He declared to His Apostles, “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” Subsequently, Jesus entreated each of us to do the same when He said, “I will that ye should overcome the world.”
… because Jesus Christ overcame this fallen world, and because He atoned for each of us, you too can overcome this sin-saturated, self-centered, and often exhausting world.
Because the Savior, through His infinite Atonement, redeemed each of us from weakness, mistakes, and sin, and because He experienced every pain, worry, and burden you have ever had, then as you truly repent and seek His help, you can rise above this present precarious world.
You can overcome the spiritually and emotionally exhausting plagues of the world, including arrogance, pride, anger, immorality, hatred, greed, jealousy, and fear. Despite the distractions and distortions that swirl around us, you can find true rest—meaning relief and peace—even amid your most vexing problems.
And there is another application of that same beautiful story; one that we apply not as much for ourselves as for others.
Sometimes, we are offended, bothered, insulted, or hurt, by what someone else has done. Sometimes they have done something wrong, or we might only think they have, but either way, there’s a story there that we need to deal with.
The story of the harm done to us can be a strong one. It can take a lot of effort and a lot of prayer to find healing from what we feel, believe, or know others have done that has hurt us. But God has told us this:
Ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
- Instead of just me, that person who offended or hurt me, is also a child of God. They are also of eternal value and have a divine destiny. God loves them.
- He sent them here to learn, and knowing they would experience failure, error, and sin, He sent them a Saviour.
- Jesus Christ came into the world for them. He performed the ultimate sacrifice for them, took upon Himself the weight of their sorrow, and the torment of their punishment, just as He did for me and you.
- Jesus walked through the valley of death and up to the gates of Hell, overcoming sin and death, for them. And He calls them, just as He calls me and you; He offers them help, and His Spirit, and seeks to ensure they make it home, just as He does for me and you.
So, why should I let my hard feelings, my self-pity, stand in way of the intentions and actions of their loving Saviour?
From God’s perspective, there is no me, you and them, there is only all of us, His beloved children, and He desires that each of us will learn who we truly are and follow His Beloved Son back into His loving presence.
One more story. You probably remember that Joseph, son of Jacob, was sold into slavery by his brothers. Then, through a series of unfortunate events he was touched by God’s grace to become a governor of Egypt just in time to save the land from a terrible famine. Then his brothers, not knowing who he was, came to him for food. But not all of them. Their younger brother, Benjamin, stayed home. Joseph missed Benjamin and, not revealing himself to his brothers, told them that when they come again they must bring their youngest brother. When he heard this, their father, Jacob, refused; he didn’t want to risk losing another son. But Judah persuaded his father to let Benjamin return to Egypt with them, saying, “I will be his surety,” I will bring him home. Jacob trusted Judah and let Benjamin go.
Judah’s story reflects part of our stories too. When we left our Heavenly Father’s home, we came into this world together. And we also made a promise – especially we who are members of this Church, who are called and have chosen to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ and be His helpers in this world: We promised, like Judah said to Jacob, to be a “surety” for our brothers and sisters, to take on ourselves the responsibility to help bring them home. This story is not so much about missionary work, or ministry – it is about love.
When we find it difficult to forgive or tolerate someone’s words, choices, or actions, we can remember that the gospel story reveals their value in God’s eyes is as much as it does ours; that Jesus came for all of us, and loves all of us, and seeks to save us all. And that He asks us, in return, simply to love one another and help bring one another home. Forgiveness is a critical part of being loving and fulfilling that promise.
I testify that each of us, as we recognize and internalize the beautiful and sacred truth about our and every other person’s stories, seeking to live up to the knowledge that each of us is a child of God with divine value and eternal destiny, we will more deeply love ourselves, more confidently trust in our Saviour’s grace, and more fully be, as Joseph Smith said, “disposed to look with compassion [or love] on [others, and] feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs, ” as well as our own. I invite each of us to strive to live out this beautiful story of faith, repentance, forgiveness, and redemption, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.